Question: How can I learn to be less attached to my parents who are getting more old and sick, while still caring for them? I know Pure Land (净土) is a better place, but how can I prepare to ‘let go’ of them when needed?
Answer: We have to remind ourselves that everyone in this world will certainly have to depart eventually, while the time of departure is uncertain.
Do see these ‘Top Ten Lessons On Impermanence’, which can be good reminders: https://purelanders.com/2025/07/29/top-ten-lessons-on-impermanence and this teaching the Buddha taught on impermanence: https://purelanders.com/2026/02/09/the-sutra-in-which-the-buddha-speaks-of-impermanence.
The impending departure of our loved ones should also remind us to love well now, before it is too late. And if we really love them, we should guide them to practise mindfulness of Buddha (念佛) in terms of Āmítuófó (阿弥陀佛) best we can: https://purelanders.com/start, so that they can reach the best place possible after, with ultimate peace and bliss (安乐), his Pure Land.
Since you want to be with them, all the more should you guide them to Pure Land first, before personally reaching Pure Land later. If not, there is no way to meet and remember one another due to loss of past lives’ memories. There, we will all remember our past relationships. It is where we can gather safely, instead of wandering in different directions due to different karmas after death.
