Does Grumbling About Others Break Any Precept? The Daily Enlightenment Buddhist Inspirations (since 1997)

Complaining of a problem
should not be mistaken
as solving the problem,
since it is seldom so.

— Shilashanti

‘If I grumbled to Buddhist friend X about Y for repeatedly sharing the wrong ‘Dharma’ with me despite being told so, does this go against any Precept(s)?’ Well… This might be speaking of another’s mistake unnecessarily. When we speak of another’s mistake, it should only be out of good will and compassion to seek solutions for addressing the mistake, without anger or impatience.

If there was merely ‘scolding’, it was not only not helpful, but kind of harmful, as it projects Y’s character badly to X. Even if there was just one mistake mentioned, an overall ill perception might be formed. If X is a new and thus not a very mature Buddhist, X might let the negative example of Y mar his/her impression of Buddhists, thus possibly losing faith and confidence in Buddhism on the whole.

According to the Brahma Net Sūtra Bodhisattva Precepts’ Text《梵网经菩萨戒本》, it goes against the ‘Sixth Precept Against Speaking Of The Four Assemblies’ Transgressions’ (第六说四众过戒), especially if the person is a lay Bodhisattva Preceptee (在家菩萨) — ‘with their mouths personally speak of renounced and lay Bodhisattvas’, Bhikṣus and Bhikṣuṇīs’ transgressions’ (口自说出家、在家菩萨、比丘比丘尼罪过、教人说罪过).

They should ‘constantly give rise to the compassionate mind, to teach and transform‘ (常生慈心，教化). Even if you did mention the mistake to Y, say twice, it is best to correct at least three times, quoting the right teachings, for the correction attempts to be considered proper. (Unless unamendable with an ongoing mistake that harms many, there should not be public airing of the issue to warn others.)

What done might have also gone a little against the ‘Ninth Precept Against With Angry Minds Not Accepting Repentance’ (第九瞋心不受悔戒) in terms of ‘personally be angry, instruct others to be angry’ (自瞋、教人瞋). Remember that ‘Bodhisattvas should give rise to, for all sentient beings, practices of good roots without contention, and constantly give rise to the mind of loving-kindness and compassion’ (菩萨应生一切众生善根无诤之事，常生慈悲心).

To make amends, other than repenting to the Buddha and informing a Preceptee, you should tell X that you were wrong to speak ill of Y, and share the right teachings on the matter with X too. Apologise to Y too, unless s/he will be unhappy upon knowing what said to X, and strain your relationship(s). However, it is still good to apologise eventually, when Y is less likely to be angry.

This is not a serious case of breaking the precepts, unless there was strong ill intention and anger. This issue of complaining about a person with some displeasure is a common problem for many. All of us should thus be more mindful. In essence, what all Precepts teach us to do is to avoid giving in to the three poisons (三毒) of greed, hatred (anger) and delusion (贪嗔痴) in the slightest. Even irritation is a subtle form of hatred. If we remember this, it will be easier to uphold the precepts well.