Dear You (南枝: Nánzhī),
It is indeed very moving that you have kept supporting me, a stranger, and my family, over 18 years, with your remitted money after my husband’s (木生: Mùshēng) demise… but why did you not take so many opportunities over so many years, to share the truth of his departure with me? (Alas! Now, you cannot even remember or explain, with your lost memories. With mixed feelings, I was first unsure, if to thank or blame you.) Why did you sustain our false hopes, that eventually led to much misplaced distrust?
While I understand your kind wish to conceal the truth from me in the beginning, to save us from too much grief too soon, was it not better than I grieved properly sooner, to move on properly sooner? Though I do not need another husband, perhaps my children could have grown up better with a ‘father figure’ of sorts? Your concealment had kept us all attached for nothing, for too long. I would rather know the hard truth, than to receive a single remittance, generous as it might be. I sincerely hope you understand
While I remain immensely grateful for my late husband’s venture overseas to make a living for us, I also wish to also offer my much belated gratitude to yourself, with the other men and women of your wonderful country, who so graciously allowed him, an ‘outsider’, to thrive when our country was in most desperate chaos. You have all, in turn, helped my family to survive. Thank you for giving him and us, so many unconditional chances. Your deep kindness is surely difficult, if not impossible to repay!
With greatest regards,
淑柔 (Shūróu) [as imagined]
