Is a site that connects adulterers a marriage saver or wrecker? It depends on whether users realise their mistake of using it repent in time, before they get caught karmically. 37 million users’ data was once leaked, but there are 70 million users now. Looks like many more need to watch and learn from this documentary, on its false promises of ‘safety and security’, with its unimaginable harms and dangers.
Some who could not stand the shame even killed themselves. So much for the site being a marriage saver when it cannot even save oneself. There are also problems highlighted, such as fake accounts set up to frame, and chatbots used to bait and cheat users of their feelings and money. It was a service that empower[ed] cheating at all levels, between provider and users, users and users, users and spouses.
A past CEO rationalised that the infidelity site is a ‘[marriage] preservation device for many married who love their partners and cherish their children. Love and sex are very different things.‘ It was proposed that there are those not fulfilled physically, who do not want their families to break up, but are not good in marriage if unhappy, who should thus ‘get happy’ to ‘love’ their spouses more. What twisted advice!
Since love is based on loyalty and honesty, those who truly love their partners and families should not break the Third Precept against adultery and hide it by breaking the Fourth Precept against lying. The fact that one uses the service secretly means it is unacceptable cheating. Just because some are going to cheat does not mean this should be facilitated, just as none should help marriage wreckers destroy families.
Although there are differences between lust and love, should lust not be minimised, expressed with love for those committed to only? If not, anything goes for anyone and there will be moral chaos, confusing all with multiple subjects of love and lust. There should be rising above lust in good time too, to not feed it unlimitedly, which is what can eventually break marriages and families, doing them no good at all.
Secrecy over what that should not be done can be a lifelong haunting curse. ‘If wanting people to not know it, this is only with oneself not doing it.’ (若要人不知，除非己莫为) As proven with the leak, there is no guarantee that data promised to be secure will always be so. Users might blackmail too? May we do not to others what we do not want others to do onto us. Why cheat and expect to not be cheated on?
