Question [1]: Is there still need to pay respects to relatives who have passed away for some years?
Answer: If there is uncertainty that there is already a good rebirth (e.g. in Pure Land), this should continue. Beyond mere traditional paying of respects to express remembrance and gratitude, the below should be sincerely practised:
(i) Giving words of guidance
(ii) Ample recitation of the Buddha’s name (Āmítuófó)
(iii) Dedication of meritorious virtues for rebirth in his Pure Land
That said, the above three steps should be practised as soon as possible once there is uncertainty. They can be practised at any time; not only on death anniversaries – at the place the deceased is most likely to still be present, such as his or her home, if not yet reborn. (The words at https://purelanders.com/wake can be adapted, with more focus on the three components above.)
Question [2]: Can we eat food offerings made to the deceased?
Answer: They can be eaten after the offerings were made for a reasonable period of time – in case the deceased were ingesting them (by smell).
Question: Will eating such offerings bless us?
Answer: If such offerings were partaken, those who did so would have been ghosts (or bardo beings), as beings already reborn in worse realms cannot reach the food, unless they are animals present, and beings already reborn in better realms do not need the food.
Eating food already offered to ghosts does not bring about any special blessings. While all food should not be wasted, of course, they should not be eaten if they have turned bad. (Only offerings made to the sacred Triple Gem are likely to carry some blessings.)
