YOUR hatred cannot be ceased by MORE hatred.
YOUR hatred can only be ceased by MORE love.
OTHERS’ hatred cannot be ceased by MORE hatred.
OTHERS’ hatred can only be ceased by MORE love.
To the angry mind there is never any justification for another’s actions and always plenty justification for our own. However, there is another choice here. We can think, ‘I am acting unskilfully because I am controlled by my anger. Maybe it is the same with the other person. Maybe she is controlled by emotions and is suffering just as much as I am. And further, maybe I have contributed to the situation in some way and I am at least partially responsible.
If I really were as perfect as my wounded ego is telling me I am, then there would be no way that person could upset me so much. So maybe I need to look at exactly why I am so upset from the point of view of my own shortcomings rather than hers.’ A thought process along these lines can help is diffuse the anger in our minds.
Geshe Tashi Tsering