Home » Letters » How To Answer Kids’ Existential Issues?

Question: My teenage daughter mumbled this during an argument – ‘I did not ask to be born!’ How should I have replied?

Answer: This is how you might want to reply – ‘Myself too didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t specifically ask for you to be born either. But I realised that we cannot be here by chance, but of our own choice, directly or indirectly even if we have forgotten, just as we are discussing this now not by chance, but because we choose to. This is why we are family, due to our collective ‘karma’ – the power of these various reasons together. Since we are here, let’s do our best to help each other to make our lives better and more meaningful!’

This might be a little philosophical or vague, but it might do for now, for a youngster who is beginning to reflect on existential issues. A related article to share is this: http://thedailyenlightenment.com/2011/10/some-dynamics-of-parent-child-karma When you learn more about karma, you can share more with your daughter in greater detail, in ways you deem appropriate.

Question: On another occasion, she asked, ‘Do you (me, the mother) regret having given birth to me and Brother?’ How should I have responded?

Answer: You should never say you regret, even if you do regret – as it can hurt them for life. This is how I suggest you might want to reply… Smile and say – ‘That’s a silly question. Do you regret having me as your Mother?’ Pause and let her reflect… This question might not be easy for her to reply, but it helps to show how some answers are not always a clear-cut yes or no. But do remember to brace yourself for a possibly spiteful and thus insensitive answer. But remember too, that it’s probably something they will take back when they are more mature. Just assure her that you will do your best as a Mother, and express your hope that she will guide you along too.

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